Independent developer Pixel Titans and virtual murder peddlers Devolver Digital have announced that the greatest game of all time, STRAFE, will now release on both PS4 and PC today after a slight delay due to an unforeseen polygon shortage.

STRAFE requires over 150,000 meticulously placed polygons to create its bleeding edge graphics,” noted game director Thom Glunt. “Through an unexpected legal entanglement and a series of clerical errors, nearly 25,000 of those polygons arrived late to Pixel Titans world headquarters thus delaying the game by a few weeks.”

STRAFE is the fastest, bloodiest, deadliest, most adjective-abusing, action-packed first-person shooter of 1996. Featuring breathtaking photorealistic graphics and persistent gore that allows you to paint levels red with the excessive entrails of your enemies. It also comes armed with a Platinum Trophy.

Start saving your pennies!